Confusion and Grief

Well life has been horrible lately, but I know I need to pick myself up again. A few days ago I was told my sisters BFF past-away. She was always at my house growing up making everything brighter.  I have already ranted about it in my personal journal, as a result I think I have sorted my thoughts, I still cry, but I have also managed to smile. I love the quote from Les Miserables "And rain will make the flowers grow." I can't keep this out of my head. The worst part is that I never felt angry about it, is it strange to say that I know it was right, no matter how much I wish it did not happen? God needs her and I wish I knew why, but I don't think I will find out. Whenever I think about it though I just feel peace mixed with longing and grief. I know it is a strange combination, but that is what I feel. You probably are wondering how I can feel peace and grief at the same time, I don't know if that is exactly what it is, however that is the closest I can come to describing it. I started writing a poem, its not done yet, when it is I might post it. Thanks for listening, I guess I am at that stage when I want to talk about it but not in person with people. Cheers.